May I have your listening? (Outpost)

Eleven Pax, took the Daily Red Pill (DRP) this morning and got better.

The Pax: Lucha, Rifleman, Flying Tomato, T-Bone, Beano, Mad Bum, Felix, Rafiki, Meatsweats and Bluegrass (Q: Squirrel)

The Scene: Cool, Mid-30’s

WarmUp:  Arm circles, Right over left leg stretch thingy (flapjack), Imperial Walkers, Hillbilly’s and Motivators  

The Thang:    The Pax did a HIIT, station TABATA Exercise routine today. 45 seconds on, 10 moseying to the next station, 5 sec prep.

ROUND 1                                                     ROUND 2

Station 1 Burpees                                       Burpees

Station 2 Out – In – Up – Down ‘Merkins   Decline Merkin

Station 3 Overhead press w/ block          Skull Crushers

Station 4 Dips                                              Merkins

Station 5 Block Curls                                  Block Curls

Station 6 Step Ups                                      Step Ups

Station 7 TRX Y-Fly                                      TRX High Row

Station 8 Squats w/ Block                          Lunges

Station 9 Calf Raise                                     Calf Raise

Station 10 Alpo’s (Shoulder Raise)            Blockees

Between Round 1 & 2 Pax took a loop around the AO

 

Cirque du Soleil Abs led by Lucha

 

Announcements/Prayer requests:

1. Prayers for Jack (Beano’s 2.0) as he and his Frat brothers cruise to the Caribbean
2. Prayers for the Palmetto runners who embark on their race next week
3. Continued prayers for Annina (Squirrel’s 2.0) as she settles her mom’s estate  

Rafiki led us out in prayer.

 

MOLESKINE:  May I have your listening?

There is an art to listening. It is a skill to develop. 

How often has an employee, co-worker, or friend engaged you in conversation and  while they were speaking you were readying your response?  How did that go?  I imagine it either led to the other person becoming upset or shutting down. This scenario is not just a one-off, one of the major complaints in American healthcare is that “Nobody listens.”

Author and inspirational speaker Simon Sinek explains that, “listening is not the act of hearing the words spoken, it’s the art of understanding the meaning behind those words.”  To let the words of another wash over us and imbue the contextuality of their story isn’t practiced much.  In the hurried pace of the business world we rarely pause to fully listen before we respond.  

There is a difference between hearing and listening.  Hearing, as noticing – background noise while doing something else or noticing certain words and phrases so you can parrot them back.  Hearing takes no practice. Your ears work or they do not.

My wife and I had time over the winter holidays to remember the difference between hearing and listening.  We set our intention before leaving on our trip to be fully present to those around us and not be distracted by phones, or TV’s or anything other than the person in front of us.  For four days we listened to stories of aging parents, broken relationships, challenging children, job frustrations and career successes.  We watched the faces and the gestures – the physical display of the emotions attached to those stories.  Setting our intention to be present, the stories weren’t a distraction, instead they became more alive.  There were times I caught myself thinking about my response, and a potential solution to fix the situation.  I was trying to listen and formulate at the same time. This cannot be done.

Here is another example; you are going from one meeting to another, grab one of your key employees and say, “walk with me.”  You have an over-the-shoulder conversation as you rush down the corridor to the next meeting.  As you enter into that next meeting you assume that the information you presented was somehow transferred, with complete understanding, to the person you were talking at.  Notice I said talking at, not to or with.

 

Have you practiced listening?  Seriously, do you know how to listen?  

• Slow down.  In our hallway example above you could have postponed the discussion.  If the conversation is important enough to have it is worth setting the time aside to have it.
• Ask.  “May I have your listening?”  You may think the phrase corny and you would be right.  This odd phrase has often made people pause, even for just a second, to open the door to true listening.  
• Observe – Observation is useful to get direct information and to better understand aspects of the conversation.
• Be patient. 
• Be present.  

 

As you practice this art of listening, don’t think about what they or you are going to say next.  Do not spoil the end of the conversation.  Let them speak, whatever they speak, and just listen.  This listening without thinking of a response will create space.  Literally, you will have to take time to think about your response after they are finished speaking.

Have you been in a situation where you have had to start the same sentence over and over again because no one was listening and then just drop it because, obviously, it doesn’t matter?

Giving the gift of your listening is irreplaceable.  You are giving of your time, the one thing that can’t be recreated, bought, found or replaced.  As a leader there are times we need to pause – be fully present – in order to serve the profoundly human need to simply be listened to.

Aye!