I love you, I loathe you…..

Eight Pax, took the Daily Red Pill (DRP) this morning and got better because for it.

The Pax: Squirrel, Josey, Scout, Swanson, Beano, CPT D, MadBum and Neo 

The Scene: Nipply, I mean nippy.

  

The Thang:  And so it began.

Starting with the core

  • The 100
  • 10 Xs & Os
  • 20 WWII Situps, In cadence (slow)
  • 30 Freddy Mercury’s In cadence
  • 40 Long slow Flutter In cadence
  • 40 Side leg raises (ea side) In cadence
  • 30 LBCs In Cadence
  • 20 Heels To Heaven In cadence
  • 10 Hello Dolly
  • The 100

Grab your Coupon

  • 20 Good Mornings
  • 20 Bent over rows
  • 20 Squats
  • 20 Pulse Squats
  • 20 Merkins
  • 20 Overhead Press
  • 20 Alpo’s (cross handed shoulder raise)
  • 20 Side bends (ea side)
  • 20 Lunges (ea side)

Murder Bunny (Rnd 1) / Rifle Carry (Rnd 2) to Shovel Flag — 10 Thrusters

**REPEATO** 

Cool Down: Plank

Announcement: Q Source Zoom Call 0615 tomorrow, subject is Mammon (Work)

Prayer Requests: Keep Julie (CPT Ds) mom in our prayers as she begins physical therapy after her mini-stroke (TIA).  We raise up the men who are going to the AT to hike – we ask for their safety and that they truly experience God’s greatness while building friendships. 

 

MOLESKINE: 

Some of this might actually resonate with some of the Pax.  I wish it wasn’t the case and…..

I love my wife!  If you have met her then you know why.  I am more in love with her today than when we were engaged or first married. Better than loving her, I love US as a couple.  And, all that said, these past nine months of COVID have started to…put a strain on our lives. 

If you find yourself feeling pretty cranky with your spouse or 2.0’s since the start of the VID, you’re not alone.  We often sh*t on those closest to us.  Why do I (we) do that?  You know it won’t end well and yet there I go making a remark that doesn’t serve anyone or anything.  It is easy to place the burdens we carry on our M’s.  We, as a world, are going through what could be a clinical diagnosis of adjustment disorder.

In the past I could hold it all together until the daily distraction (work, chores, etc.) would take over.  Now?  Distraction hasn’t been as big a think to turn to.  Fractures have turned to chasms that can’t be ignored.  Ok, that’s a bit dramatic, my M and I don’t have anything close to chasms. In the “Before Times” the world offered a buffet of avoidance tactics. Rather than having tough conversations I could take on more work, or be around friends, or lining up places to go and do.  The great COVID eraser wiped all those excuses away. 

Ok, it’s not all bad.  Matter of fact it’s a chance to Get Right…and not just fitness.  This has been a great opportunity to offer advice and solutions support. Yes, I just lined through that on purpose.  Take it from YHC there are times, many times, providing a solution is NOT the right thing to do.  *Pro Lesson #1 – even if you have the answer or magical solution that resolves everything SHUT IT! (Said in my most kind and soft-spoken voice).   Just listen to your M and then put what you heard in your words and speak them back to her.  *Pro Lesson #2 – don’t just parrot the words verbatim. 

Here’s some ideas to help deal with all the togetherness:

  1. Set a timer for ten minutes and take turns being “the bitcher.” This allows you both to focus solely on that issue and there’s an agreed upon end time to it.
  2. Don’t offer advice. This is not the time for solutions or problem solving. Yes, we men LOVE to be helpful and offer advice, and our M’s often don’t receive it that way.
  3. My God, Focus Man!  Stay focused on what your partner is saying.  When she’s pouring her soul our and being vulnerable the last thing you want to hear from her is, “do you hear the words coming out of my mouth?”  So ask questions to understand what you M means. Show them you care what they are talking about and living through.
  4. Structure will be your friend. Ask for space when you need it and let your M do the same.  You can’t treat quarantine the way you would a lazy Saturday.  The lack of privacy grates on everyone experiencing confinement, despite the isolation.  Structured time is needed so we don’t feel like others are constantly observing or constantly “there”  
  5. Be on your M’s side no matter what!! Yes, this means conveying understanding EVEN IF you might disagree with your M’s perspective. If the goal is to reduce stress/be in relationship, that goal is likely more important than your opinion on the situation…for now.  When you’re in a deep discussion and she is vulnerable it may not the best time to teach a lesson.  Pro Lesson #3: Don’t use this time as a teachable moment.
  6. Show affection. Physical touch. Hold hands.  Bump fists, Give her a shot in the arm (softly).  Look at her.

It sucks when we are off balance.  It’s worse when our M is expressing fear, sadness or anger.  I’d rather be the one down in the dumps than see her hurting.  The good thing is rather than sit face-face you and your M…the best team ever…can stand shoulder to shoulder and face all these together.

The wonderful and fortunate thing about life is that often, even when we are being complete fools, we still get to see some wisdom.  No teacher or teaching is ever going to help your relationship with your M for you.  You have to do it.

Aye!

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